Archive for November, 2006

Corpsey the Bear is slow, not dead

November 18, 2006

Dudes / Babes,

Corpsey the Bear has been held up a bit. We had some formatting problems so most of the book had to be re-done. The footnotes were placed at the end of the chapters, which I think has taken away some of the charm. However, on a better note, the Appendix that was a complete nightmare as a flowchart has been converted to scripture. It’s pretty interesting and some of my best work.

Corpsey’s storyline hasn’t changed. I do find a lot of grammatical errors that I would have liked to change, but I think I’ll let them go.

The next book has nothing to do with Corpsey, so unless there’s an overwhelming desire from the public for a sequel, it won’t happen. I have entertained the idea of a Corpsey the Bear cartoon, so if anyone with some talent is interested, please let me know.

Is there anyone out there?

Carry on,

Glaston

What happens when that which exits a democrat’s mouth hits the fan…

November 17, 2006

Hey,

The recent comment-off-the-top-of the-head by the democrats came about because they already had both feet in their mouths. “We can have the troops out in 4 – 6 months.” I completely agree.

I agree because I have created a fool-proof (democrat-proof) method of determining when we’re ready to leave: have those democratic leaders and their families take an unescorted trip through the lovely neighborhoods of Basrah. Not all the leaders at once. Just one family group at a time. Too many Americans could be perceived as a threat, right?

And, in my research, I do agree that this can be done. Other things that can be accomplished in an equally timely fashion:

1. Remove and replace your transmission yourself in 4 – 6 days.

2. Complete all your Christmas shopping for everyone on your list in 4 – 6 hours.

3. Rehabilitate any child sex offender in 4 – 6 months.

4. Write a quality novel in 4 – 6 weeks.

5. Give your significant other the best sex of their life in 4 – 6 minutes.

There are numerous examples that don’t even need to be mentioned. The point is, if you’re going to do something right, take the proper time needed. If I was a U.S. soldier who was sitting in the next world, proud of my efforts, and spending my days trying to drop rocks on Stalin’s head from my perch, the last thing I want to see is a group of circus peanuts destroying my sacrifice. It’s all posturing. And in this case, the democrats are not only pissing in the wind, they’re pissing on our soldier’s sacrifices.

And before I run off, I would like to nominate Tom Daschle and family to tour Bagdad and see if it’s safe to send the Clintons over.

More haste, less speed,

Glaston Dex

Route 666

November 12, 2006

Animal lovers,

Yes, the Democrats have control now. And with our Republican leader, that means that now there will be more time pissing in each other’s Cheerios than in actually accomplishing anything. And now I’m going to tell you whose fault it is.

I don’t really, really, really, really give a rat’s ass if you like President Bush or not. I think I’ve made that clear. Mainly because it’s an opinion. And it’s so EASY to pervert YOUR thinking into believing he is a monster.

That’s because we have a liberal media.

Oh, now, before you throw your head back and start shouting, “He doesn’t know what the Hell he’s talking about,” I want you to look at a few logical thought processes.

When we have a leader in office who is known for womanizing, and he embarrasses our country to a point that everyone secretly wants him out; it’s a problem. But look at him (Billy) now. He is a respected ‘leader’ in the eyes of the liberals. Why? Because he’s all you’ve got. And he was brought back to power because we have kept him tucked away in the backyard on a leash, where he can’t do any harm. Now if he porks Mr. Rogers’ french poodle down the block, no one cares.

Who brought this nightmare back? You, Hillary, and the Press.

Why Hillary? It’s because SHE’S ALL YOU’VE GOT. Think about it. Has she done anything different than any other Dem Senator that you’ve put into office? Nope. Not really anything different. She walks around with her chin in the air with a smirk on her face that reads: If you elect me, I will re-open Route 666 and see if Satan wants to be Secretary of State. That ‘proud’ woman, with that irritating look on her face that smacks of someone’s well-paid, ex-wife who runs around letting everyone know that she might be in line for ‘Maurder of the Year’.

I really think that it’s in the blood of the liberals to hate a republican leader, because they’re a threat to you. And we all know why you’re scared: it’s because you want a Welfare State, and people like President Bush want you to start using that four-letter-word: WORK.

Can I handle a Dem President? Yup. But you have to show me one that has morals and wants to make America strong.

So stop being fooled by advertising, start thinking for yourself, get the Hell out of college (you could have graduated 3 years ago, right?), start your occupation, and get a life.

Take Route 66 instead,

Glaston

Hugo Chavez may need an ass beating.

November 9, 2006

Hello, boys and girls,

No, I’m not kidding. I’ve done a lot of research in this area and I’m convinced that the Socialist Wanna-be World Power, Hugo Chavez, is long overdue.

His comments toward President Bush at the U.N. were uncalled-for and childish. Please don’t take this clown seriously or you will be part of an uninformed minority. This powerless, emasculated, cross-dresser seems to forget where he is. Calling for Bush to be tried for ‘War Crimes’ gives yet another meaning to the word, ‘inane’.

I do have a wonderful solution for the U.N.: when you leave, Chavez, take it with you. You can have it free of charge and we’ll call it condemned. Then, when you go home, you can play dress-up and pretend you are a grown, thinking man who still packs his genitalia wherever he goes.

My idea for the U.N. is even easier: on a Saturday morning, have the military search the premises for any weekend workers (optional). Then, you chain the doors shut, post guards around the perimeter and execute anyone who tries to enter.

And don’t forget the “Closed To Business” signs.

Hey, a boy can still dream, can’t he?

Glastonbury

Clinton: the Sequel

November 7, 2006

Hey Politicos,

Did you ever wonder what this country has come to? Wasn’t one Clinton enough in your diet? You need another helping?

I will not understand Homo sapiens sapiens. We seemed to have evolved into H. sapiens moronus; a distinction I had previously left to Kelly Ripa and the chicks on The View. There’s just too much talk about this candidate, or that candidate and how Hillary will fare against them.

Hillary? As I said, do we really want another Clinton in office? Instead of Bill keeping a Monica on her knees under the desk, is Hillary going to keep Officer Barbrady down there (“I found the little man in the boat!”)? Maybe; I dunno. But I do expect the most underhanded, devious candidate of all time. Hillary will make Damien look like the returned Christ.

I do go after Democrats / Liberals because it’s been my experience that these people vote emotionally, rather than voting for the big picture. For example, do you want a President who’s gonna save every damn tree in the entire US, but waffles when some Jihad group says it’s going to execute a bus full of children? Hell, no! I want a decision-maker, which seems to be the key to running the Broadway version.

Reagan, Bush Sr., George W. all have one important thing in common: they saw the big picture. They may not have made the program work such that every kid is literate, but they sure as Hell made the effort. Cutting taxes? Always the prime objective. Why? Because they have to fight the Dems who keep draining that Christmas Fund also known as Social Security. And before you liberals begin foaming at the mouth, consider this: it was Kennedy that first noticed that the lid was off the cookie jar and he helped himself to a handful before anyone’s parents knew. The result? Today’s trillion dollar deficit.

And who tried to correct it? You guessed it: Reagan, Bush, and Bush.

I’m not here to tell you who to vote for. I’m just asking that you all start thinking for once and look at the big picture, not just what pertains to your sorry-ass special interest group. Ask the Wizard nicely and maybe he’ll replace the straw with a brain.

Think, dammit!

Glaston

Thank Heavens for John Kerry!

November 3, 2006

Non-Republican, Anal-orifices:

Aren’t you happy knowing that you’re going to destroy that old Republican War Machine? “How,” you say?

Well, with John Kerry, of course!

Aren’t we fortunate to have such a humble, eloquent speaker such as John? Wow! Think of how strong the next 4 (8?) years are going to be!

The first reason to be proud of John is that he has the troops behind him. What? He made a disparaging comment about those men willing to die for freedom and life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? Naw… not those troops. I’m referring to the countless North Korean troops who applaud him for following in the footsteps of our Heroine, Jane Fonda.

That reminds me; I need to apologize to our wonderful Veterans at the local VAMC who fought so bravely in Vietnam. I keep changing channels when a Jane Fonda film is on your TV. I should be more respectful of her opinion of this great land of ours. But I digress…

Oh, and John Kerry will not be such a recluse like President Bush, and instead entertain more foreign dignitaries in the White House, such as the aforementioned North Koreans, the strong Russian Military, and all those guys that President Bush has labeled “Terrorists”. How dare he! They came to our country, as well as other countries, to exercise their fundamentalist religious beliefs to destroy American lives. Remember, we have freedom of speech and religion and we need to be more tolerant of other cultures.

And John woun’t stop there with the improvements. He also sees that immorality is rampant in this country. His design on fashion will correct this. John’s foresight will change the country for the better by inviting all the Muslim dignitaries from Iraq and Iran, as well as their families to teach us how to live in a more sacred manner. In order to do this, he will have every American register through our military bases, which will be completely manned by our Fundamentalist Islamic brethren, giving our wonderful soldiers a much deserved break. This educational process will make for a stronger Amer-Iraq.

Finally, John will be able to enjoy the fruits of his labors, after all the hardships he has been laden with. And his fellow Democrats believe this as well. They know how hard it is to maintain several mansions simultaneously. And the people who voted proudly for him in 2004 saw his strength through his sufferring. They know that their meager lives depend on Mr. Kerry and his Democratic predecessors to support them in their struggle to find new and creative ways to maintain the welfare system they’ve come to deserve.

I just want to say, “Thank you, John, for standing up for what is right.”

Amen,

Glaston

Professional Manuscript

November 1, 2006

Hey loafers,

For those who do know me…or think they know me, I write constantly. In fact, I have so much material floating around in my head, I have two more websites planned. I have 4 screenplays, a stageplay, and two more books that will be sent off next year for publication. Right now I have a ‘professional manuscript’ in the stages of publication.

I haven’t written a professional manuscrip in 10 years. Prior to that I wrote around 25 of them in a six year period. Fifteen made it to publication. The papers helped a lot in getting me where I am. I’m not bragging, just trying to set up my point.

For those 15 that were published, there was a simple, straightforward protocol for submission. After you sent in one, the rest followed the same format. Much to my surprise, they went to an electronic submission process sometime in the last few years. And it has been more work than expected.

My beef is this: if you do the same job day-in, day-out, it becomes a no brainer. Really. So why would an editor place the tables, graphs and other figures ahead of the main body of the manuscript?

No brainer.

I repeatedly tried to correct their bone-headed mistake, with no luck. I guess I just don’t understand people who can’t use the logic and common sense they are supposed to have. It’s not medical science. It’s just plain rote work.

Now you know why I switched to fiction and self-publishing. Little stupidity required of all the parties involved.

Loose lips; sink ships,

Glaston