Archive for the ‘Ex-girlfiends’ Category

Elisabeth Shue, Edgar Cayce, and J. Edgar Hoover

October 30, 2006

Good news,

I finished the weekly horoscope in record time. The ghosts of Edgar Cayce and J. Edgar Hoover told me what to do. I shouldn’t joke about that; a former girlfriend (a different one from the psycho) can no longer watch TV since the TV “tells her what to do.” She wanted to get married at one time; dodged that bullet.

Elisabeth Shue has still not shown up on my doorstep. Maybe she’s afraid she wouldn’t be able to handle all the sex; I dunno.

Anyway, check out the horoscope. If any of it comes true – PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

Remove the old paint first,




October 23, 2006

Okay hippies,

My website, is up again. It should stay that way.

Good night


October 22, 2006

Hey fellow Pastafarians,

If you are going to visit my website, please go to:

The other one is dead at the moment.



October 19, 2006

Dear Nightmare Bitch,

Yeah, you know who you are. Thank you for placing the knife in my heart. You f*****g cow! You started out with good intentions, constant sex, loving cards, etc. Then the Satan you had bottled-up so well burst out and took charge.

I learned to not talk to you in the mornings, since it bothered your peace and quiet. You used sex as a weapon, and made me beg for love and appreciation. I put you into not just one, but two incredible carreers. You took my beautiful $40k car whenever you felt like you had to be the F*****g Princess in town. And the only way I earned a blowjob was if I jumped through all the hoops flawlessly every day. And you didn’t swallow, either.
Well, dear L.R (or L.W. as you were formerly known), I took that horrible relationship and sad little white-trash-life-of-yours and turned it into a movie that will be completed next year and shown at Sundance.

Thanks, you white-trash bitch, for making me a lot of money off your psychotic behavior.

Piss off…Ha-ha…

Molly’s B-day

October 15, 2006

Shut up and listen.

One of my oldest girlfriends turned… ummm…. became a year older today. She is an incredible woman who beat the odds against a very self-destructive lifestyle and has become everything I could ever hope for.

I love you, Molly. Happy b-day!