Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

How the Democrats Plan to Kill Pres. Bush

December 20, 2006

Think I’m kidding?

I’m not. The DNC has a fool-proof plan to place Hillary Clinton in the White House. Grab your balls ’cause we’re going for a ride…

Here’s the game plan: Dick Cheney will have a ‘heart attack’ and die. Nancy Pelosi will then fill his shoes. That leaves Bush wide-open and there are not enough Secret Service agents to protect his ass in this case. The Dems will make sure it looks like a terrorist retaliation for going into Iraq, etc. Pelosi will step in as President. She could make Hillary V.P. and then step down, since she will probably have her life threatened as well. Next, H.R.H. Obama will move in as the token Muslim and help Uncle Osama bring some of the ‘relatives’ over for a visit. A long visit.

Should we be scared? Yup. Every President’s granted three gratis assassinations, so Hillary’s going to sharpen a few knives. Did I say ‘knives’? I did, because she and Diane Feinstein will have all the guns taken away.

But that’s okay. Me and my crew can take over more territory.

Stop the Democrat Assassination Machine now!

Glaston

Technorati found me!

December 11, 2006

Technorati Profile

Ooops… I did it again…

December 4, 2006

My dearest Britney,

How proud I am of your recent crotch-shot. I feel much better knowing that you took that route instead of being paid $100 Million for a Playboy spread. Don’t want anyone to see all of you naked at once! Nice to know you didn’t forget to shave this morning. Don’t want to give anyone razor burn.

All my love,

Glaston

P.S.: You’re a total slut.

I know why it happened. Blame Paris. One Night in Paris got rave reviews and Britney needed to try to get back on top. Lindsey Lohan (am I the only one who hasn’t slept with her?) is going to top both of them by flashing her tits during her USO tour in Iraq.

Yes; they are horny, my dear, but all boobs pretty much look the same. Especially when the only women you can have sex with wear black veils, and you can’t even tell what sex they are.

All this nonsense is propagated by the media, looking for the latest ‘scoop’. My advice? Stop prostituting yourselves and find a respectable career.

Since the Olsen twins have disappeared for awhile, will their publicist ‘accidentally’ leak a video of the two participating in a foursome, an incestuous Lesbian act, or, will they just be tasteful like the other washed-up child actresses and run straight to Playboy?

I think we all know the answer to that: all of the above.

A stitch in time, saves nine,

Glaston

Route 666

November 12, 2006

Animal lovers,

Yes, the Democrats have control now. And with our Republican leader, that means that now there will be more time pissing in each other’s Cheerios than in actually accomplishing anything. And now I’m going to tell you whose fault it is.

I don’t really, really, really, really give a rat’s ass if you like President Bush or not. I think I’ve made that clear. Mainly because it’s an opinion. And it’s so EASY to pervert YOUR thinking into believing he is a monster.

That’s because we have a liberal media.

Oh, now, before you throw your head back and start shouting, “He doesn’t know what the Hell he’s talking about,” I want you to look at a few logical thought processes.

When we have a leader in office who is known for womanizing, and he embarrasses our country to a point that everyone secretly wants him out; it’s a problem. But look at him (Billy) now. He is a respected ‘leader’ in the eyes of the liberals. Why? Because he’s all you’ve got. And he was brought back to power because we have kept him tucked away in the backyard on a leash, where he can’t do any harm. Now if he porks Mr. Rogers’ french poodle down the block, no one cares.

Who brought this nightmare back? You, Hillary, and the Press.

Why Hillary? It’s because SHE’S ALL YOU’VE GOT. Think about it. Has she done anything different than any other Dem Senator that you’ve put into office? Nope. Not really anything different. She walks around with her chin in the air with a smirk on her face that reads: If you elect me, I will re-open Route 666 and see if Satan wants to be Secretary of State. That ‘proud’ woman, with that irritating look on her face that smacks of someone’s well-paid, ex-wife who runs around letting everyone know that she might be in line for ‘Maurder of the Year’.

I really think that it’s in the blood of the liberals to hate a republican leader, because they’re a threat to you. And we all know why you’re scared: it’s because you want a Welfare State, and people like President Bush want you to start using that four-letter-word: WORK.

Can I handle a Dem President? Yup. But you have to show me one that has morals and wants to make America strong.

So stop being fooled by advertising, start thinking for yourself, get the Hell out of college (you could have graduated 3 years ago, right?), start your occupation, and get a life.

Take Route 66 instead,

Glaston

Hugo Chavez may need an ass beating.

November 9, 2006

Hello, boys and girls,

No, I’m not kidding. I’ve done a lot of research in this area and I’m convinced that the Socialist Wanna-be World Power, Hugo Chavez, is long overdue.

His comments toward President Bush at the U.N. were uncalled-for and childish. Please don’t take this clown seriously or you will be part of an uninformed minority. This powerless, emasculated, cross-dresser seems to forget where he is. Calling for Bush to be tried for ‘War Crimes’ gives yet another meaning to the word, ‘inane’.

I do have a wonderful solution for the U.N.: when you leave, Chavez, take it with you. You can have it free of charge and we’ll call it condemned. Then, when you go home, you can play dress-up and pretend you are a grown, thinking man who still packs his genitalia wherever he goes.

My idea for the U.N. is even easier: on a Saturday morning, have the military search the premises for any weekend workers (optional). Then, you chain the doors shut, post guards around the perimeter and execute anyone who tries to enter.

And don’t forget the “Closed To Business” signs.

Hey, a boy can still dream, can’t he?

Glastonbury

Thank Heavens for John Kerry!

November 3, 2006

Non-Republican, Anal-orifices:

Aren’t you happy knowing that you’re going to destroy that old Republican War Machine? “How,” you say?

Well, with John Kerry, of course!

Aren’t we fortunate to have such a humble, eloquent speaker such as John? Wow! Think of how strong the next 4 (8?) years are going to be!

The first reason to be proud of John is that he has the troops behind him. What? He made a disparaging comment about those men willing to die for freedom and life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? Naw… not those troops. I’m referring to the countless North Korean troops who applaud him for following in the footsteps of our Heroine, Jane Fonda.

That reminds me; I need to apologize to our wonderful Veterans at the local VAMC who fought so bravely in Vietnam. I keep changing channels when a Jane Fonda film is on your TV. I should be more respectful of her opinion of this great land of ours. But I digress…

Oh, and John Kerry will not be such a recluse like President Bush, and instead entertain more foreign dignitaries in the White House, such as the aforementioned North Koreans, the strong Russian Military, and all those guys that President Bush has labeled “Terrorists”. How dare he! They came to our country, as well as other countries, to exercise their fundamentalist religious beliefs to destroy American lives. Remember, we have freedom of speech and religion and we need to be more tolerant of other cultures.

And John woun’t stop there with the improvements. He also sees that immorality is rampant in this country. His design on fashion will correct this. John’s foresight will change the country for the better by inviting all the Muslim dignitaries from Iraq and Iran, as well as their families to teach us how to live in a more sacred manner. In order to do this, he will have every American register through our military bases, which will be completely manned by our Fundamentalist Islamic brethren, giving our wonderful soldiers a much deserved break. This educational process will make for a stronger Amer-Iraq.

Finally, John will be able to enjoy the fruits of his labors, after all the hardships he has been laden with. And his fellow Democrats believe this as well. They know how hard it is to maintain several mansions simultaneously. And the people who voted proudly for him in 2004 saw his strength through his sufferring. They know that their meager lives depend on Mr. Kerry and his Democratic predecessors to support them in their struggle to find new and creative ways to maintain the welfare system they’ve come to deserve.

I just want to say, “Thank you, John, for standing up for what is right.”

Amen,

Glaston

Professional Manuscript

November 1, 2006

Hey loafers,

For those who do know me…or think they know me, I write constantly. In fact, I have so much material floating around in my head, I have two more websites planned. I have 4 screenplays, a stageplay, and two more books that will be sent off next year for publication. Right now I have a ‘professional manuscript’ in the stages of publication.

I haven’t written a professional manuscrip in 10 years. Prior to that I wrote around 25 of them in a six year period. Fifteen made it to publication. The papers helped a lot in getting me where I am. I’m not bragging, just trying to set up my point.

For those 15 that were published, there was a simple, straightforward protocol for submission. After you sent in one, the rest followed the same format. Much to my surprise, they went to an electronic submission process sometime in the last few years. And it has been more work than expected.

My beef is this: if you do the same job day-in, day-out, it becomes a no brainer. Really. So why would an editor place the tables, graphs and other figures ahead of the main body of the manuscript?

No brainer.

I repeatedly tried to correct their bone-headed mistake, with no luck. I guess I just don’t understand people who can’t use the logic and common sense they are supposed to have. It’s not medical science. It’s just plain rote work.

Now you know why I switched to fiction and self-publishing. Little stupidity required of all the parties involved.

Loose lips; sink ships,

Glaston

Lazy People

October 31, 2006

Dear lazy-butts,

I’m talking to you if you’re on a couch watching TV and eating cheesy-poofs. Get up and work! You need to stop relying on people like me to carry you through life! There is work out there. The sadly-likely Democrat Regime will begin with thunder in 2008, and will end in misery in 2012, as Hillary or some other clone-nightmare will take our country as deep into the sewers as they can.

I don’t care if you like President Bush or not, but the man had enough balls to stand up for what is right. The Democrats’ method of leaving everyone alone opens the door to every nutcase-country in the world to create more mayhem than Ted Kennedy at Spring Break in Miami. Making deals with terrorists is like making a deal with a crocodile as to when he will eat you.
Don’t fall prey to the welfare state! Stop taking handouts from others because you can rationalize that you deserve it. You don’t. Halloween, Christmas, and birthdays. That’s it. The lunch line’s closed.

Don’t vote for the Democrats. They want to take from the rich (that is, people who WORK FOR A LIVING) and give it to the poor (THE LAZY-ASS’S WHO CAN”T COMPREHEND THAT THE WORLD HAS TO WORK).

Remember; there are two types of people in this country: Americans and Liberals.

Get a job,

Glaston

Free Horoscope

October 25, 2006

Dear Wanna-be Zodiac Killers,

I have a FREE HOROSCOPE just for you on my website! That’s right! FREE! This is a WEEKLY HOROSCOPE, UPDATED EVERY MONDAY MORNING!

Does this sound like an advertisement? Yes? Well, it’s not! I’m not selling horoscopes, but these are the MOST ACCURATE HOROSCOPES KNOWN TO MANKIND! THEY WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE (UNLIKELY). Although they are meant for entertainment purposes only, odds are that at least one of my predictions will be spot-on! And if one of these things does come true, let me know.

Remember, this is a horoscope put together by your pals (buddies?) at http://www.corpsey.com.

You’ll thank me later,

Glaston (Nobby’s friend)

WEBSITE UP AGAIN

October 23, 2006

Okay hippies,

My website, http://www.corpsey.com is up again. It should stay that way.

Good night